Uncle Bodie in: Next of Kin

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Uncle Bodie in: Next of KinLet the Thursday funnies commence with a new Uncle Bodie adventure!

Click the "read more" button below the image  to see the full comic.

 

 

Last Updated on Thursday, 24 September 2009 11:54 Read more...
 

Park Encroaches on Local Industry Habitat

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Four This report comes to you from our correspondent in the tinytown satellite of E-ville:

E-ville: a Tinytown Darth Vader. Once a "normal" town, with its share of dog tracks, speakeasies, slaughterhouses, and Prohibition-era dance pavilions built atop native middens, it is now more machine than man.

The lone lefty on the city council has recently announced that he won't seek another term. Lefty, in E-ville, means "less inclined to subsidize contractors so they'll build another mall." He has designated an heiress apparent, so we'll see how that goes.

This isn't meant to be a political missive, all- politics-being-local aside: your correspondent supplies this background to provide context for a story.

Said lefty city councilman was the chief agent behind getting an old, disused warehouse (and its grounds) turned into a public park. Initially, his was the only vote in favor: the others opposed the park. It took a long time to get done, but it has met with what is called universal acclaim. Bells and whistles galore. A fine combination of sustainable local plants, brushed stainless steel lavatories, and just-dangerous-enough-to-be-cool playground equipment.

It has been open for a couple of months as of this writing. Two days ago was the official ribbon-cutting. Your correspondent was not in attendance, having been called away to ceremonial duties in the remote mountains (hiking, drinking, hiking while drinking, and emitting foul smells). Apparently a costly plaque was put in place, bearing the names of four of the five city council people. Absent was the name of Mr. Lefty, sine qua no park, who decided that this kind of self-serving idolatry wasn't his speed.

Your correspondent is inclined toward cynicism, and disinclined to the wearing of hats. Yet here he must figuratively tip his to Mr. Lefty, who could've gone down in the bronze annals of public parkdom like four other little local Caesars, but did not.

His motives can only be guessed at, and the conspicuous absence of his name may be pure theater: the reader is invited to suspend judgment and take a moment to contemplate E-ville's fine assortment of parking garages and publicly subsidized three-quarters empty office buildings.

– W.O. Clamteeth

 

The menagerie of to-day

Last Updated on Wednesday, 23 September 2009 14:25
 

Tuesday Weekend Crime Roundup

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This weekend was a busy one, with 157 reported incidents.  Here's  a summary:

September 18, 2009

8:02 am: OFFICER PROVIDED ADIVCE TO A LARGE TRUCK PARKING IN THE AREA TO LOAD UP.

8:10 am:  PARKING COMPLAINT UNFOUNDED, NO VIOLATION

5:10 pm: REPORT OF A POSSIBLE FAKE ID. OFFICER CONFIRMED THAT THE ID WAS VALID.

10:22 pm: ITEM LOGGED INTO FOUND PROPERTY.

 

September 19, 2009

8:12 am AN EMPLOYEE CLEANING A PHONE ACCIDENTALLY DIALED 911.

6:40 pm REPORT OF A VEHICLE FIRE. UPON ARRIVAL, THERE WAS NO VEHICLE FIRE.

6:47 pm REPORT OF A POSSIBLY RABID RACCOON.

6:48 pm REPORT OF A SUBJECT WHO THREW A FOOTBALL INTO THE COMPLAINANT'S YARD.

10:07 pm REPORT OF NOISE FROM A LOUD STEREO. OFFICER OBSERVED NO VIOLATIONS.

 

September 20, 2009

12:42 am SUBJECTS WERE ARRESTED FOR PUBLIC URINATION.

1:57 am NO VIOLATIONS WERE OBSERVED.

12:02 pm FOUND BICYCLE.

3:10 pm OFFICERS CHECKED THE AREA FOR A REPORTED SUBJECT RUNNING DOWN THE STREET WITH A SILVER OBJECT IN HIS HAND. NO ONE WAS LOCATED.
Last Updated on Tuesday, 22 September 2009 09:40
 

Aesop the Cop: Keep It In The Pants

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Aesop Cop in: Keep it in the Pants
Last Updated on Tuesday, 04 January 2011 20:53
 


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