August '09 Coming Down

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All Photos by Frankie14850 Copyright All Rights Reserved 

Last Updated on Wednesday, 26 August 2009 10:13
 

Shove 100 Pounds of Trouble into a 10 Pound Town and Shit Happens

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copp

TINY TOWN, USA – About 20,000 people and 25,000 cars rolled into Tiny Town from Aug. 21 to Aug. 23. More are coming. That translates into a lot of drunks and fender benders. It's called back to school time here in the U.S.A. We at TTT take a dimmer view and mark it as a another sign of the apocalypse. 

The police see it as a time to make a strong impression on the young and witless and to feather the caps they don't wear as often as they used to. Why are they not wearing their caps? We do not know.

In any case, our Tiny Town Blues met the insurgency head-on and crashed a lot pf parties from Friday to Sunday. They handled a total of about 250 calls and a whopping 163 arrests mostly for underage drinking, open container and city code violations like littering.

It's about time litterbugs got popped.

Some of these items are worthy of note to emphasize the escalation of nonsense marking this rite of passage in our idiocracy. For instance: 18 motor vehicle accidents, one involving a cop car, another a truck that hit a building in C-town and several hit and runs. Not to mention a suspicious skunk incident (see below).

About the beer busts: The editors at TTT think that the 21 year old drinking age is insane. At 18, 19 and 20 you are encouraged to go get your limbs blown off by a roadside bomb in Iraq but you can't drink beer in America?

Not only is this an insult to any 13-year-old who can hold his/her liquor, it is a set-up to break the law.

Even so, for most of these boys and girls, getting slapped with an appearance ticket is about as close to uniformed service as they will get. Except when they dump their dinner trays off at one of the campus feed lots. We believe the kitchen crews still wear EDUCorp. Laundry. 

O Yes! many a slip between cup and lip occurred this weekend. 

The following is a tally of arrests and certain charges.

Open Container Violations:  Approx. 57, mostly Saturday night and early Sunday, mostly in ChinaTown and on South Stupid Hill.

Underage drinkers popped: Approx. 37 -- ditto on dates and places.

Noise: 18 tickets issued

Littering: at least 10.

Below we note only those unlucky few who got saddled with multiple infractions. 

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It will be a crowded day in old City Court folks, so reserve your seat ahead of time.

Not to be outdone, Tiny Town's local miscreants were busy as well. We note here only Mr. Larry Payne, 21, popped for an alleged felony of first degree criminal contempt and second degree harassment, picked up on Aug. 21 and held in jail last we knew.

PENULTIMATELY: We remain concerned about reports of someone shooting a BB gun at animals on Hudson Street Friday night around 9 p.m.  Hey asshole -- we'll get you!

Also: A statue on The Commons was vandalized. Hmm. Maybe the statue had it coming. More on that, later. 

FINALLY: REPORT OF A SKUNK ACTING STRANGELY. OFFICER WAS UNABLE TO LOCATE THE SKUNK IN QUESTION! Hudson Place 10:05 p.m. Aug. 22.

Below: A country skunk checking out the site of food left out for homeless barn cats in the Town of Ulysses. Skunks never behave strangely. They behave like skunks no matter the conditions. 

skunk

– C. Penbroke Handy

Last Updated on Saturday, 01 May 2010 13:03
 

McGruder excels himself in "Othello-SUPERMAN"

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arthur ←CORN, IAGO!: In addition to an improvised ode to an ear of sweet corn Aug. 22, actor Arthur McGruder recited Zarathustra's famous Roundelay:

"O man, take care!
What does the deep midnight declare?
I was asleep—
From a deep dream I woke and swear:—
The world is deep,
Deeper than day had been aware.
Deep is its woe—
Joy—deeper yet than agony:
Woe implores: Go!

But all joy wants eternity—
Wants deep, wants deep eternity."

TINY TOWN, USA – With just a beer and an ear of sweet corn for props, Edge City Actor Arthur McGruder captivated a backyard audience with his one-man tour de force performance of "Othello-SUPERMAN" on Aug. 22. 

Playing himself as Othello, and, a beer swilling SUPERMAN a la Neitzsche's "Thus Spoke Zarathustra,"  McGruder stunned a crowd assembled for an afternoon of dinner theater.

The three-and-a-half hour show paused only for completely natural acts such as eating, drinking and trips to the loo.

"What made it so fascinating was the fact that hardly any of us could tell that he was acting," said an audience member. "He talked with us, walked around and joked and it was so seamless you'd have thought he was just here for the party."

An exhausted McGruder explained afterwards that the double-role was one of the most challenging of his career. 

"After the third beer, I was pretty much improvising," said McGruder. "I hope someone recorded my improvised ode to the Sweet Corn Goddess, I think it was inspired."

Inspired indeed. The actor's impassioned address to the Sweet Corn Goddess, a complete diversion from the original Shakespeare and Nietzsche texts, moved some members of the dinner party to tears. 

Even more stunning was his nuanced reference to bits of Thoreau's "Walden" -- as counterpoint to the Godless existentialism of Nietzsche and the blood tragedy of Othello. 

"The book was on the picnic table for some reason," said McGruder. "I just went with it." 

– C. Penbroke Handy

Last Updated on Tuesday, 25 August 2009 14:12
 

Light in August

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All photos by Frankie14850 Copyright All Rights Reserved

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Last Updated on Sunday, 23 August 2009 19:09
 


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