COP TELLS FREAK WHERE TO GET OFF

Wednesday, 15 July 2009 10:13 Franklin
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TINY TOWN, N.Y. –– Our very own passive-aggressive attention getter had just purchased a spot for his precious ta-ta on the Sagan Sun Monument to better expose his righteousness. The TinyTownTimes.com Freak Squad have been keeping on eye on this fellow. And guess what? Yesterday an officer of the law took action! The charge: Desecrating the Sagan monument -- no small crime in Tiny Town. The officer was lenient however and merely told Narcissus to rest his funky duff somewhere else.

Mentally ill or not, this guy takes up a lot of space in general, often advertizing his admittedly shapely corpus to all and sundry. He likes to perform back bends and handstands and the like. Not violent, he still somehow manages to offend. Older shoppers in particular have difficulty understanding that he is a street performer, though unlicensed, and is therefore as welcome as the trees and bushes, the drug addled and the sober. Sagan fans everywhere will find themselves in the unusual position of applauding this officer's assertive move. Other authorities would have left our little helioadolator alone.  



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Last Updated on Wednesday, 15 July 2009 10:20